The Honors Program at The George Washington University is one of the best academic programs in this nation where there is a plethora of resources and excellent professional fields of research. It will provide the beginning stage that will lead me toward my goal of becoming a successful physician. The great honors curriculum will help me attain knowledge about the greater world that we live in. It will also mold me as a human as well as an intellectual scholar. I would like to engage in cutting edge research at this institution, which is highly known for its research successes.
I think it is more interesting if you open the introduction with a personal experience through which you could find your interest in "physics". I mean you should talk more about your interests in the introduction rather than the university. It would be better to write about the positive aspects of the university at the final paragraph.
Volunteering at many different hospitals and health system organizations, I have gained a broad perspective on many issues. I am able to offer my opinions and give critical advice while still being able to learn from others opinions.
How could these experiences help you to achieve those mentioned positive things? Write more about your experiences and the things you had to do through those volunteer works. In this way you can clearly convey your idea.
As a child, I have learned the values of approaching life whole-heartedly and being able to pass on my fervor for achievement
how could you learn that? it is not clear enough. Elaborate on this part if it is possible.
others around me
repetition. Use another statement.
U wrote about the positive influences that your experiences may bring to the society, but you did not apparently mention what these experiences are. Write more about them and convince the reader that these experiences are really helplful for the university you are applying to.
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